I DON'T do spiders.

Pussy or not - I don't take very well to our eight legged friends. Even the reliable non-rent paying housemates, the fabled Daddy Long Legs, who I'm assured are THE MOST VENEMOUS spiders ever to be invented; yet - they don't possess fangs strong enough to break our awesomely vunerable human skin. Wow, what a relief.

But it still gets my mind going. I think about a book I read years ago by a guy called "Demo" Dick Marcinko. This guy was either the Chopper Read of the military world or, if not, JHC, the guy was bloody MacGuyver, Wolverine and Lorenzo Lamas' 'Renegade'. He related a story of swallowing whole the venom sacs of the dreaded COBRA (not the GI Joe one ;)). So where does my head go?

"That bloody daddy long legs better not come and lay it's eggs in my throat while I'm asleep" - (recalling yet another story I'd heard about the guy in the Thai prison who awoke to the sensation of bug eggs hatching in his neck) - ouch! - but at times, at least to me, somewhat plausible.

But that shit fucking PALES in comparison to what I experienced today. See, where I'm at...., well it seems we have a bit of a spider problem. It seems like where I live, the climate is pretty much perfect for for the octopods(yeah, I made it up). Most signifigantly, VENEMOUS spiders. More specifically FUCKING REDBACK SPIDERS.

These are my least favourite spiders - beating out that little sneaky funnel web, but not by much. ;p

I was sorting a box of stuff to give to charity(cos I'm so like, it's all about the helping), and I got to the bottom and 2 - FUCKING TWO!!! - redbacks were there to say hello. Thank Christ for the 'Homebrand Insect Killer'! I don't mind saying, I shat six shades of shit.

So where does my mind go now?

Holy shit - forget the Daddy Long Legs in the shower; I just brought a box up from yonder shed that turned out to have a MASSIVE SPIDER INFESTATION and I carelessly put that box on my bed????
I think I might burn the bed. Or the room.

Oh God, I better burn it all - to be sure.