The Kung Fu Mafia Killed Hong Kong Phooey Too!

Ever wondered what happened to Hong Kong Phooey? No, it wasn't a matter of poor ratings - on the contrary; perhaps HKP was just a little TOO popular - perhaps the Kung Fu Mafia got to him as well.....

As far as I'm aware (if movies and unauthorised biographies haven't lied to me), the T.V. series Kung Fu was actually developed for and with Bruce Lee, with the whole idea that he play the lead. In fact I believe it was originally Lee's concept. The story goes that Bruce Lee went overseas to shoot one of his awesome movies and when he returned, the producers had cast David Carradine as the wandering asian kung fu master.

Apparantly they thought Lee was "too asian" looking for American audiences. Mind you, it didn't seem to matter so much when they cast Lee as Kato in The Green Hornet T.V. series as he wore a mask most of the time.

So I'm wondering....maybe it was the ghost of Bruce Lee seeking revenge on Carradine for usurping the role that (might have) made Lee marginally more famous than he already is.

The REAL question is - maybe Carradine is not really dead? Maybe he's living in a Kung Fu Commune with Bruce and Brandon Lee, planning the final takedown of Chuck Norris? I mean, it sounds plausible right? They could be living just down the road from Elvis, Jim Morrison and Tupac.

WHAT THE...?

I'm filing this under the sub-heading "things that currently make me almost wet myself with amusement".

David Carradine. Oh my GOD. Are they kidding? A "kung fu conspiracy"? 

For those of you not currently up to date with this monumental tribute to denial, the late actors' family and manager are alleging that his death was not so much a solo-satisfaction session gone horribly (but, lets face it, somewhat predictably - you're 73, mate, your ticker can't have been in awesome shape...) wrong, as a mysterious conspiracy by some shady martial arts fraternity to keep the "Kill Bill" star from blabbing about their spooky kung fu secrets. 

I'm not normally a Tele reader, but this gives you some idea.

Really? Really? That's what you're going with? 

Look, I know it's kind of embarrassing, and not exactly the lasting image he would have been hoping for, but come on. 

I think, and I'm just throwing this out there, that if it had been me (the family, not the one in the closet...), I might just quietly bury the old dig and focus on his achievements, not try and guarantee even more lasting notoriety around the event by pulling a Kel Hutchence. No-one can be buying it, can they? They've even thrown something about Bruce Lee in there too. 

Yes. That's right. Bruce Lee. He died in like, 1973, right? Clearly proximate in time. I guess the whole "martial artist" thing is link enough. Oh! AND! Bruce Lee had ALSO auditioned for the role that Carradine would go on to win in "Kung Fu" or whatever the hell it was called. Spooky, huh?

I will evince no surprise to find, in coming days, additions to this tale of self-pleasure and woe - possibly involving Area 51, Roswell, something about Anna-Nicole Smith, the cast of "The Hills", the pod people, reverse vampires and.... wait. What was I talking about? 

Never mind.

Anyhoo, if it turns out he WAS in fact the victim of ninja-like nocturnal visitors, determined to give him a last hurrah before offing him to hide their secrets, I can only applaud their imagination.